1. How do I know if I am a perfect sexual continent?
After a few days of practice we cannot hope for a level of such height. For this it is necessary a long period of time in which no drop of sperm is lost (and for women the total suspension of the menstrual cycle). Practically, a life time. But even in the situation where no drop of seminal liquid is lost, we remain eternally challenged: the sublimation of the sexual energy. The simple fact that we do not ejaculate does not necessarily mean that we have reached perfection in realizing sexual continence. It can be just transmutation of the sexual potential. The real results in this direction leave visible marks on our appearance – penetrating looks, charismatic force – and produce a continuous expansion of the conscience. Therefore if we succeed, we will be the first to know. Nevertheless, it is worth being interested in another aspect of continence. The aim is not only the wise use of the erotic dowry, but especially the exquisite control of all types of energy. Therefore we have even more work.
2. What prevents me from realizing sexual continence?
a. Inconsistency. We work sometimes all week; there are moments when we watch television like a lighted candle; surf the internet to destinations only we know, we have time to do sports, but much more timid we approach sometimes the techniques for sexual continence. It is a little strange. The fulfilment which we have been practicing leaves no place for comparison. Despite all this, we often desert the test of consistency. But if we want it all, we have to be ready to give it all. There is no other way for us, the ones in the front line…
b. Non-sublimation of the sexual energies. This is the test of fire for the practitioners of sexual continence and from here the problems connected to sexuality. The intention with which we start to make love marks powerfully the quality of the amorous game. The ancient texts talk about a percentage of 70% desire to know God and 30% pleasure. This is the right proportion. Usually it is exactly reversed and this in the happy cases. It requires much purity and transfiguration to have such a correct vision. Otherwise it is hard. The tantric tapas is, actually, one of the hardest ways of love making. The temptation is extremely big and our feet can slip any moment. We use pleasure, amplify desire only to use it in spiritual purposes. In this way they can lift us until the seventh heaven, we can learn to fly. Otherwise the unsublimated sexual energy will be like a lake of lead in which our wings remain stuck.
c. Mental or physical masturbation. The powerful desire to view erotic images, to make love in new places, in different ways, with erotic equipment more or less complicated, all these are related only to pleasure and implicitly to the mind. The ego needs fresh food (sensations, ideas) and requires always an up-dating of information. The subject does not matter very much (in this case, eroticism). Because we are mainly mental structures, it explains why man’s imagination works in three shifts. But the uncontrolled game of the mind presents a huge danger for the aspirants of perfect sexual continence: the nocturnal pollutions. Wet dreams are like a valve of the subconscious which materializes in this way the scenes from the day. Sad, but… the biological tribute can be avoided. The old model of sexual satisfaction must be replaced with a frenetic search of the depths of our being, which has as a vehicle the sexual energy. Pleasure becomes a springboard, not in the least a pool where we plunge. On the other hand, it is much easier to practice sexual continence with the being we love when the erotic sensation is especially subtle. I repeat, subtle. The visual excitation fixes our attention too much on the pleasure, burdening the sublimation of the sexual energy, controlling the ejaculation or the affective communication. Still, in a polar opposite couple, based on authentic love and transfiguration, the controlled imagination enriches the paradise of the two lovers in an ineffable way.
d. Mistrust and fear of failure. To make mistakes is human nature; to repeat the same mistake is very discouraging, sometimes. And look where fear comes: “What will I dream tonight? Emmanuelle first part, second part, third part and continuations? I hope to wake up in time; I hope that I worked enough yoga in the evening…”. Fears do not help. Actually, through resonance, they amplify the possibility of this undesirable fact to happen. The positive mental attitude is a real help in this direction. The best moment is when you make love with your lover. More precisely, when you enter the state of orgasm. Then the mind takes a welcomed break and the access to the subconscious is made much easier. Then visualize yourself as an initiating lover. A perfect sexual continent. With all the qualities fully awakened. Bear in mind that the effects are extraordinary powerful. The enormous sexual energy amplifies your thoughts, and the referring to an idealistic masculine model during the sexual game embraces you in a triumphant aura. Certainly, not the identifications with some culturist will give results, but the identification with the elevated masculine energy that is manifested by a great tantra master, a great yogi or even with the supreme energy of a divine aspect, like Krishna or Shiva.
e. Lack of attention and memory. Meaning, not remembering the actual practice. One contraction in the morning, a solar respiration at noon and two asanas in the evening will not make us masters in the art of the transfigured ecstatic love. It is not enough. A sustained attention, consistency and patience are necessary to break the chains of habits and to attain trans-biologic and then spirituality.
f. Absence of love. For many of us this passage seems the last and probably the least important, compared to the general subject. But it is not so at all. Love has an essential role in realizing sexual continence. It is the flame that will transform the lead into gold. It is the source, the initiating journey and the destination of those who chose the path of the sublime Eros. Only through total and unconditional abandonment towards it sexual continence obtains spiritual values.
3. Are there signs that reveal nocturnal pollutions?
Of course, but in this case, it does not occur like in the movies. We open the window from our living room and on the sand next to the toboggan a seagull moves his leg legibly enough, saying: “Careful tonight!” It is not really like this. It is more about situations in which it happened and it’s likely that such events will happen again. We just have to identify them: a global state of excitement, a constant subtle pressure on the genital organs, erotic activation without the sublimation of the resulting energies, accentuated tiredness, watching XXX movies, rich meals during the night, aphrodisiacs in excess, uncontrolled imagination, erotic obsessions, lack of spiritual activity etc. To prevent fatal moments we must become very attentive with ourselves. The human body is gifted with natural intelligence. If something, somehow crumbles its balance, it will surely announce us. Recognizing the dangerous situations, we must therefore act. We do all that we know to help us sublimate our sexual potential: meditations, specific asanas, pranayama, make love with our lover, anything only to feel that the danger is gone. I must tell you one thing: one flower does not make spring. Not even through three. From a bunch up the chances start. We talked about a crisis situation. Let us work more in one day to assure the continuity of the inner transformation process. But, in fact, this becomes a way of life; a creed of our own, not a toil. And to obtain the perfect sexual continence, a deep mutation in the conscience is necessary.
4. How long do I have to practice yoga techniques after one amorous act with sexual continence to be sure that the sexual energy was sublimated completely?
It depends from case to case. If we are profound when we make love, and the transmutation and sublimation force is big, we do not need many additional hours to end the amorous game at height. In general it is good that we do not make such an evaluation immediately after the postlude. The energy is still effervescent and we can be mistaken. But approximately after one hour, everything that you have not sublimated (only transmuted) will start to descend, especially if we start to eat immediately. Men feel a powerful pain in the testicles area, and for women in the ovaries (in their case it is possible for the menstruation to come earlier). Therefore the surest thing to do is to work, work and again work, as much as possible. In the end, we do it for us and the results will be measured.
5. Which are the simplest ways to sublimate the energy?
The esoteric ones are largely presented in the yoga classes: meditations, profound prayer, pranayama, fixing the attention in a single spot, certain attitudes, contractions etc. But for maximum efficiency we must know one aspect: the time of execution and the intensity of the concentration. We do not emit the mantra for five minutes, focus our view to the middle of the forehead, blink three times and it is enough! All is sublimated! No! We make the techniques until the frequency of vibration specific to the erotic energy is completely modified into a more refined, elevated frequency. The state which is installed is clearly different from the passionate one. We spontaneously have the tendency for introspection. We can feel the subtle flavour for entire days afterwards. Here are some non-yogi variants for the interior alchemy; dance, art in general, intense intellectual study, swimming etc. But for this modalities to become efficient regarding the harmonious sublimation of the sexual energy, it is necessary a totally special, meditative attitude.
6. What can help me to adopt more quickly the mastery of amorous continence?
Maybe the question would sound better if it started with “Who can help me...” The best answer would be: you! Who else? The greatest technique is not worth two cents if we do not make something to give it life. Perseverance and patience, this is what you need, because what makes the master is exercise. For the rest, things are simpler: physical, energetic and mental purification, realizing the techniques that present the desired effects, consecrating the fruits of the actions, a very good vitality (the activation of the first three chakras), a powerful mental (Ajna chakra), the will to sublimate the entire sexual energy, auto transfiguration, association with an authentic spiritual model (spiritual master, Shiva, vira state), tapas, spiritual aspiration, medicinal plants etc.
7. How can I stop the ejaculation suddenly, in case of danger?
In the first place, how did we get here? Hurrying? Ardent desire? A very passionate lover? The intimate rhythm alert? A very powerful phantasm? Or the mirror was too close to the bed? We have to be honest. Before we treat, we can prevent. If it is possible to eliminate some of the causes, half of the work is done. Some solutions for the emergencies remain, but it is best for us not to reach that point. The external blockage is a procedure very near at hand (pressuring powerfully the point situated between the anus and sex), nevertheless it is not 100% sure. If we realize it too late, we risk losing some quantity of seminal liquid in the interior of the body (approximately 40% - 60%). Later it will be eliminated with the urine. Another method is to strongly grip the base of the penis with the right hand. It is important the moment when we realize these methods. After the point of non-return, there are no solutions that can help us. In both situations, we can accompany the making of the techniques with some powerful expirations (or Udhyana Bandha) and firm concentration in Ajna Chakra. Changing the respiratory rhythm and redirecting the attention produces miracles sometimes. Whatever the situation, it is better to retreat from time to time from the intimate contact (good moment for awareness or some Nauly Kriya) and then we begin again the intimate moves. Also then we can move the mirror a little on the side.
8. What do I have to do, to spiritualize the erotic act?
After sexual continence is realized, Tantra begins. The first one does not include the second one, but the opposite is correct. The main principal of this ancient spiritual tradition is love. The more authentic and uplifting the feeling is the more profound, expansive and ecstatic the erotic act between the two lovers is. In such cases the transfiguration appears spontaneously, not receiving the statute of a technique or a precursory phase to the amorous fusion. This is the first thing we have to keep in mind. It opens the door to the profound communion with the Great Cosmic Powers.
9. Since I‘ve started practicing yoga, my desire and erotic energy developed. Is this good?
If we use them in a divinely integrated manner it is perfect. If we only feed them to increase pleasure we must take an immediate attitude. Hedonism is not a synonym for yoga.
10. Why some men who were initiated on the mysteries of the esoteric Eros still feel the need to ejaculate?
Even though we had some results it does not mean that we stepped entirely into the world of continence. Old habits scratch the walls of our subconscious. Until the definitive elimination of these residues, the balancing between up and down, sacred and profane will continue. The mark of inferior impulses will not be erased so easily from the mental board, even though we wrote above it thick and big: Spiritual evolution. Some impurities of the mind are maintained even now, more or less unconscious. This is why thoughts must be controlled permanently. No one is entering or escaping without us knowing. Another helpful exercise is Laya Yoga before sleeping (but do not use mantras for Muladhara or Swadhisthana chakra which amplify the erotic energy). One hour of meditation every night purifies the mind very much. The night will be more restful and carefree for men. Good luck!
Article undertaken from Yoga Magazine nr. 64