Usually, we are engaging in a love affair from its apparent possibilities, often imagining certain arrangements of events as we would like them to happen, or otherwise projecting our love relationship to the center of certain precise expectations, well structured in our imagination.
Only in the case of those yogis who have an extraordinary occult power and know how and when to act, life obey their wishes and visualizations. For the mediocre and shallow yogis, life rarely listens to their wishes.
For example, the woman with whom a yogi would like to marry just has a phobia towards the idea of marriage. The woman with whom a yogi engaged in a romantic relationship based on mutual love, transfiguration and continence that he also chosen to be the mother of his children from his former marriage, shortly afterwards tells him the fact that she is not interested to be the mother of those children, because she wants to enroll immediately to a college. The rich man who could ensure with ease a comfortable living till her old age to a yogini with whom he engaged in a romantic relationship based on transfiguration and continence decided to donate his entire wealth and become a monk.
Life, even in an amorous couple based on transfiguration and continence, often draws after itself amazing changes that are occurring even in the simplest aspects of their daily existence.
Our expectations are of two types: general and specific. General expectations are related to dreams, visualizations and our projects; we would like to have an extraordinary loving relationship that will make us happily ever after. Specific expectations are related to everyday life: for example, the woman expects that when the man she loves is coming to visit her, he will bring her a flower or some gifts or when she needs, he is even willing to go shopping for groceries for her. In his turn, the man expects when he’s coming to visit the woman he loves, that she will invite him to the table and offer him something good to eat.
In principle, one can say that these expectations are reasonable. It is quite legitimate to establish some long-term projects and set goals related to participation in our daily life of the other person with whom we are engaged in an amorous couple.
But when our relationship becomes a long succession of frustrating expectations, it is clear that it is time to look at reality from a new perspective. When faced with such situations, it is necessary an acceptance (from the spiritual perspective) of the fact that we realize that we can’t change the respective situation, rather than a so called better communication and endless discussions on our differences.
Accepting reality in a lucid and detached manner is a higher spiritual state that allows us to be happy and even satisfied with the present situation, with the aspects that are just as they are and not otherwise. This means giving up all preconceived ideas or even wrong of our ego and accept reality exactly as it appears.
According to this way of looking at reality, even if the man a woman loves is not that legendary visionary she dreams of, yet his inner strength inspires her further and his masculinity fascinates her and makes her very happy with of him.
Maybe the woman a man loves is not the best housewife, but nonetheless the amazing way she makes love and her maternal attitude and her overwhelmingly feminine attitude that she manifests towards him is unique and unparalleled in his opinion.
Accepting the loved one with his/ her own small flaws or defects due to the immense love and transfiguration that we feel for him/ her in a relationship based on mutual love, promotes the spiritual flourishing of the two lovers together and allows them to achieve a great happiness.
If you recognize lucidly the small miracles and great lessons that took place of your once great expectations, you will discover in a flash of a moment that your dreams were once small and awkward compared to the great achievements and spiritual transformations that you have achieved. In this way you may realize that your existence followed a more complex pattern than the one that you wanted it to follow. If you want to have a plenary existence, a happy and loving amorous relationship more harmonious than those that you once dreamed of, our advice is to give up to some expectations and accept reality exactly as it is.
Excerpt from the book ESSENTIAL AMOROUS SECRETS FOR YOGIS COUPLES ASPIRING TO BE HAPPY (Chapter 25)