Solo practice for men
At first glance, it may seem unusual that the control of sexual energy is helped by the cultivation of sexual receptivity and sensibility.
However, the systematic practice of Tantric and Taoist masters indicates that becoming aware of the finest and most refined erotic sensations means having control over those sensations and over the sexual energy that creates them.
Throughout the following, you will learn how to increase your erotic sensitivity, and the easiest way to accomplish that is through self-stimulation, without ejaculating of course.
Unfortunately, most Westerners are not properly educated about sexuality and sexual energy. Sex is not considered a natural part of their being. The first time they touched their intimate parts, their parents most likely told them to get their hands out of their pants.
Although this did not stop them from locking the bathroom or bedroom door they started to feel guilt and shame about masturbation.
Nonetheless, the Taoist masters considered masturbation (which they called solo cultivation or genital exercise) an essential method for increasing control over sexual energy and making it circulate through the whole body in order to revitalize it.
Remember: everything here related to masturbation or solo cultivation does not imply ejaculation !!!
According to Tao, play is one of the best ways of learning about anything, and the "play with one's own body" is an excellent method for fortifying one's genitalia and amplifying one's sexual energy.
Many people get worried when they hear about "too much masturbation", but the Taoists knew there was no problems as long as one learned how to control one's pleasure without losing their semen.
In fact, the problem is too much ejaculation, as this exhausts the vital reserves of any man, whether it happens through intercourse or self-stimulation. Research done by Dr. Kinsey and some other studies have indicated why most men masturbate the way they do.
The interdiction or discouragement of this natural aspect of sexuality transforms people into sexual thieves, forcing them to steal their own pleasure. Furthermore, it is quite likely that most men reach ejaculation in a very short time precisely because they grew up trying not to be caught while masturbating.
However, one important issue is that since all young men do this, they should do it slowly, and for long periods, so that they will be capable of making love a lot more when they become sexually active.
Taoist and Tantric teachings sustain that young boys should learn how to please themselves without ejaculating. Teenagers who masturbate and ejaculate too much will soon discover that their energy and motivation for other activities will decrease considerably.
BECOME AWARE OF YOUR PLEASUREecome aware of your pleasure
If you choose erotic magazines or movies in order to become aroused, change your focus from external stimuli to physical sensations. The reason is that erotic materials may also distract your attention from what you feel.
Therefore, it is important to remember that your purpose is not to ejaculate, but to feel different degrees of intensity in erotic pleasure. This practice implies a turn towards the interior, an experience of your own pleasure, not experiencing someone's idea of pleasure.
It is also important that you stimulate the penis on its entire length. Most men focus their stimulation on the head of the penis, which is the most sensitive part. This is important because according to Chinese medicine, different parts of the penis's body correspond to different organs.
Therefore, you should stimulate the whole body of the penis, from base to head.
CARESS YOUR TESTICLES
If touching of your scrotum is not part of your habit, it should very well be. Testicles respond very well to sensitive and gentle touching, although there are quite a few men who like firm caresses as well.
The rotation of the testicles will increase the secretion of testosterone, which will bring you a surplus of potency, both through the increase of the secretion of sperm, and through the better state of health that derives from this.
When practicing self-stimulation you have to explore the point placed between anus and sex. Pressing this point before ejaculation will delay it and even prevent it from happening.
However, in the beginning you should only explore this point to get pleasure from it. Pressing this point may bring a supplementary afflux of blood into the penis, which will make it vibrate in a pleasant way.
Strong, rhythmical pressure applied to this point imitates the contractions of the prostate, which usually accompany orgasm in the contraction phase.
You should stimulate this point after you have an erection for best results.
If you do not experience intense sensations, or if you feel discomfort, stop and begin again when you are more aroused. If you do not like being touched there, turn your attention to the scrotum and testicles.
TAKE YOUR TIME
It is very important that you take your time and enjoy the sensations that come along and remain focused in order to prevent ejaculation. Modern studies about masturbation indicated the fact that if a man can resist 15-30 minutes of self-pleasing, he will be able to resist ejaculation during lovemaking for as long as he wants.
It seems that this period of 15-30 minutes is critical. Once this interval passes, you made it! You have control over your sexual energy. For the beginning, this may seem as a long period, especially if you got used to "finishing" in 2-3 minutes.
Once you become aware of your pleasure, you may even reach several erotic peaks without ejaculating and you will become capable of making this erotic healing energy circulate through your body.
However, do not transform this into a mechanical act or a burden, and just like lovemaking, self-pleasing does not have to last for a certain period of time or a certain number of hours.
Both depend on the situation, on the time you have at your disposal and your mood. If you start getting bored, ask yourself why this is happening.
Did you fall into some kind of a routine? Did your touch become mechanical? Do you focus too much on your genital area? Are you distracted? If you cannot focus, perform some concentration exercises before attempting this.
A hot bath, some sesame or olive oil, even a massage may prove helpful in the beginning, as well as dimming the light or even lighting some candles.
You could sit in front of a mirror and watch your body very closely, trying to discover its sensuality. Touch your hand and arms, feet, hips, chest, and nipples. Explore your body entirely in order to bring out the most sensual part of you.
Because the testicles have to come close to the body in order for ejaculation to occur, jerking of the testicles away from the body will prevent ejaculation. Place the thumb and index finger around the upper part of the scrotum, and pull downwards firmly.
SUBLIMATE THE SEXUAL ENERGY
More important than any technique you learn is how to sublimate the sexual energy and make it circulate through your entire body.
If the sexual energy continues to build up at the level of the genitals, at a certain moment it may become too much for you to control, and it may burst out in the most direct possible way: through ejaculation.
However, if you sublimate your energy, you will notice that the intensity of your pleasure is much easier to bear and control. This is also the secret of having multiple all-body orgasms. So imagine and mentally direct it up along the spine, like it was being pushed up by the contractions of the perineum.
SELF-PLEASING EXERCISE FOR DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE ORGASM AND EJACULATION
1. Lubricate your penis.
2. Touch yourself on your abdomen, nipples, and thighs before passing on to the penis.
3. Please yourself, but remember to stimulate the whole penis, scrotum and perineum.
4. Try to be aware of the degrees of arousal: notice the tingling at the base of the penis, the stages in your erection, the modifications that appear in the cardiac and respiratory rhythms.
5. When you feel you are getting close to the point of no-return, stop, take a deep breath, and contract the PC muscle. You may also avoid ejaculation by pressing the point between the anus and sexual organs, using the jerk method, pressing the head of your penis, and by focusing mentally.
You may even experiment with all these techniques, in order to see which one suits you best. You may even try two or more at the same time, the most important thing is to pay close attention to your arousal and stop in time.
6. If you feel that the sexual energy becomes too strong for you to control, try to make this energy ascend with your mind while you contract the PC muscle a few times. If you still feel that it is too difficult for you to control, stop for a minute and focus on your breath.
7. Pay attention in order to perceive the contractions of the PC muscle and of the anus, contractions that come along in the contractile type of orgasm.
8. After several peaks of the non-ejaculatory orgasm type, you should stop. After this kind of lovemaking, you will feel peaceful and full of vigor and energy. Try to perceive the sexual energy circulating through your body, perceived as tingling, slight itching or stinging, but pleasant nonetheless.
The most important thing, before learning how to cultivate your sexual energy through self-stimulation is to realize the necessity of cultivating your love.
The sacred vision of sexuality is essential in every sexual practice. Therefore, in the absence of love, this feeling of sacred disappears. Approaching a sexual issue in a tantric manner means using sexual energy to amplify your love.
Consequently, love is the foundation of each sexual tantric practice and it is love that grows in intensity and becomes more refined.
Thus, through the tantric practice, one may get to experience the pure, archetypal love of Shiva and Shakti, or in other words the union of the masculine and feminine principles, a love that is also the foundation of creation.
MAKE YOUR LOVE GROW
Many men practice self-stimulation, but very few use this opportunity to make their love grow. This is an easy task if you realize that inside each man there is also a feminine aspect, just as inside each woman there is a masculine aspect.
This is obvious on a physical level due to the fact that women and men have both male and female hormones. Likewise, on a psychological level, any man has a female part inside of him, and every woman has a masculine side.
The degree of awareness and manifestation of this complementary aspect differs from person to person. Nonetheless, each of us may develop it through awareness.
This aspect is relevant for the issue we discuss in the sense that while masturbating, you may think that you are actually making love to your feminine counterpart.
This feminine counterpart bears the name, according to K.G. Jung, of ANIMA, while the male counterpart present in each woman is named ANIMUS.
A perfect lover also loves himself in a healthy way, not because of narcissism or other psychological disturbances.
The cultivation of sexual energy mainly refers to its growth in quantity and intensity. This is an important aspect, because sexual energy is the energetic base of any experience we may have, be it of an affectionate, mental or spiritual nature.
Consequently, a great quantity of sexual energy is a powerful current source for our physical states, both positive and negative. This is the reason for which it is highly important that you always keep a happy, optimistic inner attitude, regarding your feelings and thoughts.
Sexual energy intensifies love, if love is what you feel. If what you feel is hatred, your hate will be even more intense and powerful.
An essential aspect is understanding the manner in which the sexual energy "nourishes" your emotions, both in your individual practice as well as in a couple.
Growing your sexual energy in the previously discussed manner and associating it with the energy of love will also help you avoid ejaculation. The direct consequence is obvious, as you know from your own experience that it is a lot more difficult to be in control when you feel anxious or angry.
The tantric tradition includes an exercise that implies the visualization of an energetic channel connecting the genial area to the heart area, during lovemaking. Thus, the sexual energy will be sublimated at the level of Anahata chakra, "nourishing" the love you will experience then.
Here is another experience of a man practicing sexual continence:
"Before I began my practice with sexual continence, I used to wish that I could separate sex from emotions. Nonetheless, since I started this practice, I have discovered that my sexual organs are much more connected to my heart. I discovered that I have a deep and real feeling of love for my beloved and even for other people as well."
The Taoists have a simple exercise in order to "connect" your "heart" with your "genital area", or in other words to connect your love and your sexuality in a harmonious manner.
If ever you should feel irritated, frustrated or distracted before lovemaking, perform this exercise:
Place you right hand on the genital area and your left hand on the heart area, thus making a "connection" between the two areas of your body.
If you used to have states of irritation or anger, it is recommend that you learn to control and then even transform these negative feelings before you start the Tantric practice.
In order to help this transformation along, we recommend the Hatha Yoga asana-s, because they make the sexual energy circulate through your entire body, eliminating blockages.
Loving yourself - a feeling quite different from egocentrism and narcissism - is important in one's tantric practice. In the following, you will be introduced to a self-pleasing exercise that will help you extend your sensual pleasure and focus throughout your whole body.
You will also learn other complex exercises that will allow you to control your level of arousal and even to experience multiple orgasms.
[X] However, all these exercises are based on the idea of becoming aware of your own pleasure and sensuality, and therefore the first object of our study is self-stimulation.
If you succeed in experiencing the involuntary contractions of the PC muscle and not ejaculating, you are on the right path to becoming a multiple orgasm man. If you have two such orgasms, you are already a multi-orgasmic man.
In the beginning, it is natural that these orgasms will not shatter the earth, but it is also possible that they will spread through your entire body. Enjoy the thrills of those mini-orgasms.
A practitioner of sexual continence describes his experience as follows:
"When I feel close to the point of non-return, I usually stop, relax and take a deep breath. It is as if I abandon myself in a non-ejaculatory orgasm. Sometimes I perceive it as a pleasant contraction of the prostate. Other times I perceive it in my genitalia and this orgasm is almost as intense - or even more intense - than an ejaculatory orgasm."
1. Start by lubricating your penis very well. The lubricant will intensify your sensations. Oil is especially recommended, because lotions dry to easily.
2. Start to caress your body as you please, also massaging your scrotum, testicles and the penis on its entire length, as well as the pelvic floor, including the point placed between the anus and the sexual organs.
3. Try to become aware of your levels of arousal. Notice the tingling that may appear at the base of the penis, the stages in your erection, and your cardiac rhythm.
4. When you feel close to ejaculation, stop and rest. Notice the contraction of the PC muscle, and do not be surprised if some time will pass before you will be able to experience those contractions without ejaculating. You may also squeeze the PC muscle around the prostate, if the prostate begins to contract and you fear ejaculation.
5. After you feel you regained full control over your excitement, start caressing again and continue as long as you feel comfortable.