Many people consider that part of what makes a man, a man, lies in his erection.
Usually, the erection appears during foreplay or while the man expects sexual intercourse. However, tension, age, and other psychic factors make it difficult to get an erection sometimes.
Therefore, we shall introduce the causes that generate this fact and the possibilities to fight it, according to the oriental art of lovemaking.
First, it is highly recommend that after a man has had an orgasm (preferably without ejaculation) he does not hurry towards a new erection. The process of gaining another erection should be slow, and lacking any kind of stress, with a woman's help if possible.
The union of the two lovers through a sexual act performed with sexual continence makes it necessary to fulfill two apparently opposing conditions: maintaining a strong erection, which needs an intense erotic stimulation, and avoiding ejaculation precisely because of this intense stimulation.
In order to "live" with both these conditions, we have to know that sexual play depends on three distinct nervous groups:
- one that maintains the sensorial-motor connection between the sexual organs and the brain, consequently our main "sexual organ";
- the other, the parasympathetic system, causes and maintains the erection;
- and the last one, the sympathetic system, is responsible for ejaculation.
It is equally important that we know a few aspects connected to the phenomenon of the erection. There are two fundamental types of erections:
1. Nocturnal or morning erections, which are purely reflexive
2. Erections caused by erotic stimulation, either directly or through dreams.
The first type of erection particularly interests us because it brings two specific cases into the light: the first occurs in older couples where the man can no longer perform as well, and the second occurs due to "phony impotence" in which most men blame their lack of potency on some physical problems.
However, except in some very rare and exceptional cases, every night, every man has at least five full erections, ever since he was young.
The German researchers quoted by doctor Sherman J. Siber in his book: "The Male", have studied great numbers of men in their sleep and determined that a man's penis becomes erect for 25 minutes to 84 minutes, during the Rapid Eye Movement phase, or in other words while dreaming.
If the subject is awakened, he usually remembers the content of his dream. Furthermore, it has been proven that nocturnal erections are not connected to the content of the dream, which most of the time had nothing erotic in it.
Thus, with some "erectile" math we realize that by the age of 75, the average penis was "up" for 33,000 hours - this is about four years, four months, four weeks, leaving aside the leap years.
Knowing that an erection depends on the parasympathetic nervous system, whose role is also to slow the breath and heartbeats, as well as to dilate the blood vessels, and that ejaculation depends on the sympathetic nervous system, one may easily notice that impotence and premature ejaculation have one thing in common: the over-excitation of the sympathetic nervous system due to anxiety.
Here's a classic situation: a man meets a woman whom he desires greatly. He thinks anxiously: "but what if I'm not up to the task". Thus, the fear of a humiliating failure is over-exciting his sympathetic nervous system.
The result: his heart beats like crazy and his breath becomes rapid and superficial. These are all processes that inhibit the action of his "opponent", the parasympathetic nervous system, in charge of erections.
Then, despite the best efforts of the disconcerted seducer, the result will be totally disappointing. What's worse, he may ejaculate even before entering the woman.
The experienced woman may save the day by calming and helping her partner relax. Once his sympathetic nervous system is relaxed, his becomes breath deep and regular, the parasympathetic system takes over and opens the gates towards an erotic paradise.
Let us turn our attention towards the ejaculatory process again. Premature or not, ejaculation depends on the sympathetic nervous system, which warns the seminal glands to prepare for seminal expulsion.
One movement and the sympathetic system will cause the powerful contractions form the base of the penis, which in turn will cause an ejaculation, at this point it is irreversible process.
In conclusion: in order to overcome impotence, we have to manage and calm our sympathetic nervous system. In order to control the erection and prevent ejaculation, we have to stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system.
WHAT ARE THE PRACTICAL METHODS?
In order to activate the parasympathetic system we should control and be aware of our breathing. Breathe in slowly, deeply, and exhale gradually, relaxed.
This respiratory pattern should be constant during the sexual act, starting with foreplay. The man gains insight and stays calm, his reward being a full erection, and a satisfied woman.
Furthermore, in order to avoid over exciting your sympathetic system, it is highly important that the movements of the two lovers are smooth, and the man adapts to the rhythm of his lover. Avoid all sudden movements, smile and maintain a relaxed atmosphere.
Finally, instead of losing his potency with age, the man who practices sexual continence gains strength and resistance.
Preserving of the sperm enhances the libido, and the man will not experience the progressive erosion of his sexual power - a constant worry of any man over 40 years old.
The young man "compensates" for loss of energy through ejaculation through a faster "recharge". At a young age, a man has to wait only a few minutes before he is ready again.
Later, while he advances in age, he has to wait up to several hours until he is ready for a new experience.
However, as compensation for his patience, the years that pass bring sexual maturity to each man, even to those who ejaculate, which makes them appreciated lovers.
So, is the "quick" erection such a great asset? The "aged" lover may wait a little longer, but he can carry on making love for a longer period, making him more desirable than the young and inexperienced man, who finishes before he even started.
Let us now discuss the sexual "erosion" that comes around with age. The cause is the terrible waste of sperm that occurs with each passing year.
However, by preserving your sexual energy through the practice of sexual continence you will always be youthful and full of energy. Frequent ejaculations shorten the man's orgasms as well.
While in his 20's, a man could "project" his sperm to about half a meter, a distance that decreases dramatically with age due to frequent ejaculations.
In order to avoid these unpleasant aspects there is only one solution - to avoid wasting the sperm. A man as a sexual animal is an exception and cannot be compared to other mammals.
Nonetheless, we should mention the fact that animals themselves copulate only for short periods of time and only for reproduction purposes. Their males may spend months or years without intercourse.
Tantric and Taoist teachings also indicate that the waste of sperm exhausts one's virility and is the main cause for premature sexual senility.
Seminal retention facilitates a rich sexual life, allowing several intimate contacts a day, and preserves the biological youth of the practitioner.
It is enough to practice seminal retention for only a week or two in order to be able to notice the sexual prowess coming back.
The principal objection to seminal retention is that the testicles produce spermatozoids continuously regardless of the number of ejaculations. This is true.
However, when the ejaculations are too close in time, the spermatozoids are less numerous and the sperm contains a number of immature gametes, indicating the fact that the testicles have to work extra heard and the pressure on them is greater than it would normally be.
There is no need to worry, men that have been practicing sexual continence for decades are living proof of the fact that it does not imply any risk to one's health, only benefits.
THE ERECTION - THE STARTING POINT IN LOVEMAKING
It is important that we underline the following aspects:
- The hardness and duration of the erection are a sign of a man's virility. The erection-phenomenon is the pillar that sustains sexual experience, be it profane or initiated. The practice of the exercises described in the "Men" section of our site can give you a stronger erection, stimulate your erotic vitality and allow the penis to maintain an upright position for hours.
- It is important to understand that an erection may be triggered a lot easier if before intercourse you relax your whole body, insisting on the erogenous-sexual areas.
In the following, we will introduce a series of exercises whose objectives are:
- making you more aware of your sexual organs
- fortifying your sexual muscles
- improving your control over your individual sexual muscles
MULA BANDHA - the contraction of the root
This is a basic technique for controlling the sexual energy and getting a hard erection.
This technique involves the anal muscles, both internal and external, as well as the "lifting" muscles, situated in the interior of the body. If you are in a state of semi-erection, you may easily observe the effect of those contractions.
Through the action of the "lifting" muscle, the penis may respond to the contractions of the woman's vagina and this secret language may enrich the couple's life with new erotic sensations.
Mula Bandha is an exercise that you can practice anywhere, anytime and in any position: sitting, lying, or even while doing a headstand or other yoga postures.
In the beginning, we will act on the whole pelvic area while contracting these muscles, but in time we will be able to distinguish between the anal muscles and the penile ones.
We will be able to contract them individually, in order to become capable of relaxing them at will. During an ejaculation, you may observe the ejaculatory spasm propagating and helping you locate the muscles responsible for ejaculation.
One of the most efficient procedures in controlling ejaculation is to relax the sexual muscles when you are close to ejaculation. Learn to relax the muscular complex of the pelvic floor in any position you may be.
In order to do this, breathe calmly, relax the pelvic muscles, the anal muscles and the rest of the muscles in the area. Take your time and relax completely, even if in the beginning this may take some time.
In time you will be able to relax quicker, almost instantaneously - a fact that will prove useful during intercourse because it will help you avoid ejaculation.
Remember the fractionate urinating technique and try to urinate with pauses of 5 to 30 seconds between the flow of urine. The practice of this technique makes the control of ejaculation a lot easier.
The exercises presented so far stressed the importance of having strong sexual muscles. Likewise, when you are getting close to the point of non-return you have to relax those muscles and thus avoid ejaculation.
In order to practice contract these muscles to the maximum while having a strong erection. Then relax these muscles, contract again for a few seconds and relax again.
If you insist on the relaxation, the erection weakens and eventually disappears. In the beginning you should do this while standing still, but in time, you can perform this exercise during intercourse.
When you get close to the point of non-return, you may easily notice an acceleration of the breath, which causes your pelvic muscles to become tense.
If you allow this type of breathing to go on, you will soon reach ejaculation, but if you control it at this point, you will also control the ejaculatory process.
Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, a tantric spiritual master wrote: "when the man is anxious, he reaches ejaculation quickly. When he is not anxious, the ejaculation may be delayed for hours or even days, especially now that it is no longer necessary.
Two lovers who are united by a deep love can strengthen one another and thus ejaculation is no longer necessary. The two lovers may carry on making love for years on end, without exhausting their energies.
Eventually, sex will no longer be the base for erotic excitement, as it is now, but it will become the jumping board towards spirituality and complete union with God.
Nevertheless, this is possible only if you surrender yourselves to the vital energy within each of you. Then and only then will you be able to abandon yourselves to love."
In his "Introduction to Tantric Buddhism", S.B.Dasgupta notes: "according to the adepts of Vajrayana and Sahajayana, the pleasure caused by ejaculation is highly inferior in both quality and intensity to the bliss that comes about through seminal retention, stopping the descendant movement of the sperm and directing its energy upwards.
This ascension makes it "flow" to the lotus situated in the crown of the head and stay there. The bliss obtained through the sublimation of sexual energy is named MAHA _ SUKHA (great bliss or great pleasure)."