Men usually succeed in having a certain degree of control on their sexual excitement, once they have grown as lovers, and once their desire is to satisfy their beloved.
This ability is often translated in terms of distracting their mind from the sexual excitement, instead of learning how to become more and more sensitive to this excitement.
A real control of ejaculation comes only when a man has learned his own individual rhythm of excitement, and not when he ignores it.
Once you become aware of your ever-increasing pleasure, you will find it easier to walk on the path of sexual continence, or in other words of multiple orgasms.
In order to fully experience sexual pleasure, men have to relax and to abandon themselves to it. But, if a man relaxes and abandons at the wrong moment, he may ejaculate because of this.
WHAT YOU HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT EJACULATION
The discharge of the semen from the body takes place in two phases. In the first one, the contracting phase (called sometimes the emission phase) the prostate contracts and pushes the semen through the urethra. In the expulsion phase, the semen discharges in the urethra and goes further on up through the penis.
When you will be capable of having multiple orgasms, you will experience those pleasant pelvic contractions without ejaculating. Although there are men who ejaculate several times during one act (especially teenagers) it has to be clear from now on that multiple orgasms (without ejaculation) do not refer to these kinds of multiple ejaculations.
If a man is very excited, there may appear some drops of transparent liquid. The prostate and other glands, such as the Cowper glands produce this translucent fluid that usually eliminated before the discharge of the semen.
It is in fact an alkaline based liquid needed for the lubrication of the urethra and for preparing the way for semen. The Taoists named this liquid water and distinguish it from the milk, which represents the seed.
This fluid is perfectly natural, its presence indicates the orgasm of the "contractile" phase, and it may contain a number of spermatozoids. This is usually called "pre-ejaculation".
WHAT HAPPENS TO THE SEMEN WHEN I DO NOT EJACULATE?
The semen is reabsorbed by the organism, in a manner somewhat similar to the process occurring in the case of a man who had a vasectomy.
Nonetheless, the effects of Taoist and Tantric techniques on the human organism are quite different from the effects of a vasectomy.
A vasectomy implies that the deferent tube is cut right above the testicles and consequently, the sperm can no longer pass through the tube.
The semen is finally re-absorbed inside the body, but quite a number of men complain because of a state of congestion in the testicles and pelvis.
Therefore, if you had a vasectomy or you simply practice sexual continence, it is important that you practice techniques to sublimate the sexual energy from the sexual area.
These techniques help your body transform the semen into other substances, process known as transmutation. Then, the energy that comes as a result is sublimated to the upper chakras, releasing the tension from the pelvis.
The involuntary contractions of orgasms in the contractile phase, without ejaculation, massage the prostate, keeping it healthy and decongested.
CAN THE FACT THAT I DO NOT EJACULATE HARM ME IN ANY WAY?
The Taoist and Tantric adepts have practiced the techniques for transmutation of the semen and sublimation of sexual energy into other refined forms of energy for thousands of years without any side effects. Furthermore, they noticed that their health and longevity have been substantially improved.
THE ORGASMIC MASCULINE POTENTIAL
Instead of the usual, ejaculatory orgasm, the "Big-Bang" type, the methods of transforming and sublimating the sexual energy endow you with the possibility of raising this energy even from the contractile phase (before ejaculation). This allows you to experiment many multiple orgasms, perceived with your entire body, not just your genital area.
If you feel that ejaculation is imminent, block it by squeezing it with your fingers. This will prolong your orgasm and preserve your energy.
If you succeeded in avoiding the ejaculation, you may direct your energy along the spine, up to the crown of the head, in order to conclude the lovemaking session with your whole body radiating energy.
It is a fact that the Tantric masters used the energy from sexual intercourse without ejaculation for a spiritual purpose, i.e. they sublimated this energy and used it to reach the state of divine ecstasy, even revelation of the Supreme Self, Atman.
Also, it is known that the same Tantric masters used to maintain hard erections for hours, during sexual intercourse without ejaculation, even at old age.
WHERE DID THE ERECTION GO? I DID NOT EJACULATE, BUT I LOST MY ERECTION. WHAT HAPPENED?
If the sperm was not discharged or reabsorbed, then only one thing may happen. Sometimes, when practicing sexual continence, you may have a non-ejaculatory orgasm and still you may suddenly lose the erection.
In this case you may have experienced a so-called "retrograde ejaculation" (in case you did not simply lose the erection). If this is the case, the semen is discharged into the urinary vesicle and it will be discharged from the body once you urinate.
However, since you lost your erection and your semen (even through urination), you have not succeeded in correctly practicing sexual continence.
It is important for you to know that the effects of retrograde ejaculation are just as damaging as those of a "regular" ejaculation.
However, there is a method to see for yourselves if what happened was a retrograde ejaculation: after lovemaking, take a bowl and urinate in it. If the urine is not clear, then you eliminated the semen through it.
Now, when you started learning how to control your sexual muscles you became capable of learning some techniques so to help you control your sexual energy when your arousal reaches high levels.
The more you will practice the exercises presented on our site so far, the easier it will be for you to practice the ones that follow and avoid crossing the point of non-return.
The most important thing that you must do is to maintain awareness of your own rhythm of arousal and to stop before you reach the point of no return.
The name given to this technique in sexology is the stop/start technique and it is based on the idea that it is better to stop sooner than later, even if you feel you could keep going for a while longer.
In the beginning, you will need to cease the stimulation for at least 30-40 seconds, so that the impulse to ejaculate will have time to fade away.
The deep breath described in the article Breath control - The basics of sexual continence is highly important for controlling the rhythm of your arousal and for avoiding ejaculation.
However, some men in advanced stages of sexual continence, breathe rapidly in order to avoid ejaculation (yogic tradition named this pattern of breathing the fire breath), and direct the sexual energy to the head area. Deep breathing will help you acquire a state of inner calm and peace, while the rapid breathing helps you transform the sexual energy into an inner "fire" once you are advanced enough to handle it.
THE PC MUSCLE CONTRACTION
As we already mentioned, the PC muscle surrounds the prostate through which the semen must pass before expulsion.
If you learn how to contract the prostate during orgasm in the contraction phase (when the prostate contracts involuntarily), you will learn how to avoid the discharge of semen. The dreadful point of non-return is situated somewhere between contractions and expulsion.
A man who practices lovemaking with sexual continence described his experience in the following terms: "I avoid ejaculation simply by contracting my PC muscle at the right time. It took some time to reach this result, but it is definitely worth the effort."
Many specialists in sexology recommend the squeezing of the penis (see also the article Squeezing - A secret way to avoid ejaculation), which is a technique that was developed for men confronted with premature ejaculation.
The exercise is quite simple. Place the index and middle finger of the right hand on the posterior part of the penis, and the thumb on its anterior side and then squeeze. Some men hold their penis as they hold the handle of a bicycle, with all their hand, and this helps them reduce their excitation.
Although these techniques may be very effective in solo practice, they are quite inappropriate when making love, because they imply solitude. However, if this is the only way for you to avoid ejaculation, you should do it anyway.
Another effective technique is to press the base of your penis, because this pressure will help you control your arousal and will strengthen your erections.
The pressure of the point between the anus and sexual organs while contracting the PC muscle is one of the most ancient and efficient Taoist techniques used to control sexual energy and prevent ejaculation.
This helps delay ejaculation through concentration as well as through the interruption of the ejaculatory flux. First, locate the point situated slightly in front of the anus. If you identified the correct area, then you should feel a small hollow when you press.
You will then have to push up a little, until you feel a slight articulation. You may use this technique even during intercourse without pulling out.
THE AUTOMATIC MENTAL CONTROL OVER EJACULATION
According to the Taoist tradition, in the beginning of mankind our ancestors had the capacity of controlling their sexuality spontaneously.
Furthermore, they could control their emotions and sexual fluids at will. Unfortunately, this capacity disappeared, because the overall level of spiritually decreased.
People lost this ability because they became obsessed with attaining and obtaining pleasure, at all costs and through all means, overstressing sexuality, discovering alcohol, etc.
Nonetheless, one may regain this ability by training the mind to prevent the external flow of sexual energy. The key is the practice of the Great Ascension until you will be able to practice it spontaneously.
In this moment, the sexual essence will ascend continuously to the crown of the head, activating the Golden Lotus (the spiritual pole, Sahasrara). In this process of automatic mental control, the pineal gland (on the subtle level Ajna chakra) is the most important element as it connects the sexual glands (Swadhisthana chakra) with the brain (Sahasrara).
The greatest benefit in the practice of the Great Ascension is that after 6 to 21 month of practice, or after 10,000 exercises performed, you will be able to direct the energy upwards through a simple mental command, whether you sit, talk or stand.
If you can channel the energy and keep the "gate" closed for a week, you have begun to have real control over the sexual energy. At this stage, focus on the crown of the head (the pineal gland) and on the process of sublimation of the sexual energy through the spine.
Some people who practice this exercise too often or incorrectly may experience a stinging sensation in the heart area.
In order to ease this pain, you may drink some tea with honey or massage the anterior part of the body, from the upper part to the navel, where the energy is easier to deposit.
If you cannot unblock the energy from the heart area, breathe freely and use your mental power to unblock the energy form the perineum area.
Inhale and focus from Hui-Yin (the Gate of Life and Death) upwards, to the crown of the head and then downwards, to the middle of the forehead (Yin-Tang).
Focus on this area for a while. When the energy goes through the area of the heart, try to think that it flows like a waterfall, accumulating at the level of the navel.
Performing this simple and effective exercise of visualization for 9 to 36 times and directing the energy will get rid of the stinging sensation.
Finally you will be able to control your sexual impulse through your will alone. Even at night, when you become erect, you may channel the energy upwards, decreasing the erection and not having to experience the unpleasant sensation of nocturnal pollution's.
The mind and the sexual energy are closely related. Through perseverant practice you will be able to control your sexuality just as easily as you control your arms.
Nonetheless, in order to understand the depth of these truths, it is necessary that you practice. Get rid of the rigid, dogmatic ideas and find a new way of understanding and experiencing life.
Be open and brave, practice this technique until you get results. The time required for this depends on you alone. Some people get results faster, others harder. The key is practice.
1. It is possible that a few days after you get the first results with this technique you also experience pain in Hui-Yin or in the penis. This is a normal thing to happen for a short period of time.
The mind orders the muscles to contract and to push back the fluid. This process requires a great muscular force. Naturally, there will be pain in this area. Massage Hui-Yin and try to relax your muscles. After a while you will not experience any pain whatsoever.
2. If the body acquires a great quantity of energy, more than it is used to bear, there will be some less pleasant effects, such as: hot body, nausea, head-aches, stinging in different areas, usually where there are energetic blockages.
Do not become worried. The practice of the Great Ascension aims at the purification of the body as well as to the accumulation of a greater quantity of energy.
sAsanas, mudras, pranayama techniques, diet, contribute individually and specifically to the accomplishment of your goal. You may find all these techniques in the Tantric Yoga section on our site.
3. In the final stages of mental control over the sexual energy you no longer need to contract the jaws and the buttocks. Contract solely the uro-genital diaphragm and the perineum.
4. In order to attain your goal sooner, keep in mind the idea that you may perform this exercise any time you desire: while driving the car, watching a movie or while working.
Contract the anterior part of the diaphragm, not the buttocks. Be perseverant and do this exercise until you are able to fully control your erection or your tendency to ejaculate, through a simple mental command.