It is customary (but false) to believe that a man's orgasm is the same whether he ejaculates or not. Let us see what really happens during this process.
If a man makes love and reaches the point of non-return, he will reach a short climax and then sink into the stupor of post-ejaculatory abyss. After ejaculation, most men discover that they are at the lowest stage of sexual excitement and that they have to climb back gradually, which could take a long time.
However, most men think that the purpose of lovemaking is ejaculation. Ejaculatory orgasm may appear as a passionate race, but after you experience the ecstatic, prolonged bliss of multiple orgasms, this ejaculatory discharge will seem pathetic and disappointing, unable to stand the comparison.
HOW CAN I HAVE MULTIPLE ORGASMS?
As in the case of any orgasm you experienced so far, you will first sense the excitement building up (either because of a physical stimulus, or because of a thought, fantasy, etc.). This state of excitement usually leads to an erection and, if the stimulation begins, you may experience different degrees of excitation, until you reach the "contraction" stage of an orgasm.
This stage is in fact the crossroads, as it may either lead to ejaculation, or to multiple orgasms. During the contraction stage, you may perceive a series of contractions of the prostate gland, each of them lasting from three to five seconds.
Although the intensity of these pleasant pelvic orgasms varies, and they may often be just as intense as the orgasms in the ejaculatory phase, in the beginning they may be moderate.
Now is the moment when you have to decide: instead of going on, continuing to the point of non-return, followed inevitably by ejaculation, stop for some moments, until you are in control of your excitation by slowing down your respiratory rhythm and maintaining a calm and attentive attitude.
Another method is to contract your PC muscle around the vibrant prostate, until you gain some control over these spasms. Directing the energy from the area of the genitals to the spine, towards the upper parts of the body, will help you eliminate the pressure and the urge to ejaculate.
The level of the arousal will gradually decrease, preparing the way for another genital orgasm. Such multiple orgasms will lead to a different level of arousal, which builds up each time.
Important note: if you crave the orgasms in the contractile phase, you place yourself in jeopardy of ejaculating. Most men have discovered that they have to cease all stimulation right before experiencing this type of orgasm.
Many men practicing sexual continence tell how they "withdraw" in non-ejaculatory orgasms instead of rushing on to ejaculate. The idea is to be able to "stay" at this point without reaching the point of non-return. Thus, you will feel the pleasure from the contractions of the PC muscle, as well as those of the anal muscles.
It is up to each man to know how close he can get to experiencing multiple orgasms from the contraction phase. You will experience waves of ecstatic pleasure, and if your lover is a multi-orgasmic woman, who practices sexual continence as well, you are heading for paradise, because both of you will experience states of prolonged orgasms.
You no longer need to worry about getting your woman to have an orgasm, and then about having an orgasm of your own. The two of you will have the opportunity of experiencing the same time intense states of pleasure and happiness at the same time.
If you are having difficulties in differentiating orgasm from ejaculation, you may start directing the energy up the spine, before reaching ejaculation. According to the Tantric and Taoist traditions, the key in getting an all-body orgasm is to sublimate your sexual energy.
Once you succeed in sublimating this energy, you will discover in amazement that you can experience orgasmic sensations with other parts of your body, ones that you never considered orgasmic before.
The voluntary contraction of the PC muscle is also of great help in increasing your sensitivity of the pelvic area, as well as in controlling the orgasms in the contraction phase. If you should ejaculate - which may happen while you are in the beginning of this practice - do not feel highly disappointed, or frustrated.
However, such experiences must not repeat too often. So transform them into opportunities for getting to know your body and its mechanisms better. Remember that practice requires time, and intimacy, both for yourself, and for your lover.
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GENITAL NON-EJACULATORY ORGASMS AND ALL-BODY MULTIPLE ORGASMS?
Each non-ejaculatory genital orgasm contributes to the sublimation of the sexual energy, and thus the blood pressure in the pelvic area will drop.
Some non-ejaculatory pelvic orgasms are highly energizing, but once you got your "orgasmic capacity" able to bear more intensity, you will surely want to extend these pelvic orgasms to your whole body, which is the true purpose of Tao and Tantra.
The multiple all-body orgasms start with the pelvic orgasms, in the contraction phase, but now, instead of letting the sexual energy stay in the pelvic area, you make it ascend along the spine up to the area of the head, and then extend it in the whole body.
Most men don't even dream of reaching these sexual peaks. Not only do they experience only one orgasm (and ejaculate), but they also experience it only in their genital area.
Using certain techniques you can learn to experience multiple orgasms and to extend them from the pelvic area into your whole body. This is how you can make yourself resonate with the state known as the cosmic orgasm. And once you experience such a state, you will never want to go back to what you had before.
HOW DO YOU FEEL ALL-BODY ORGASMS?
Each man that practices sexual continence experiences these orgasmic peaks in different ways, according to one's level of consciousness. On a physical level, men experiencing all-body orgasms perceive warmth, tingling, vibrations or even pulsations of the whole body.
Here are some direct experiences from people who have tried this:
"I was at the very beginning of my sexual continence practice. One night, while I was making love, the intensity of the pleasure rose suddenly, and I thought I was about to ejaculate. I slowed down, and started to breathe deeply. While doing this, I became very relaxed, and I started feeling as if my whole head was electrified, as if some fine bioluminescent currents were passing through my body. I had felt a tingling on my spine all the way up to my neck. Then, I felt the tingling growing stronger, and moving on to my head. Then, the tingling grew even stronger, and reached my head. I immersed myself in a state of euphoria and bliss which I never wanted to end. It was a long orgasm. There were vibrations coming and going, and my body resounded like a bell."
"My sexual arousal builds slower than in the case of an ejaculatory orgasm. It is also more balanced and controlled. While the sexual energy builds up inside my body, I can make it ascend along my spine, and extend inside my whole body. The purpose is not to discharge the sperm, but to perceive this energy with my whole body, to perceive the love and tenderness and expand my consciousness. Consequently, my body is much more relaxed especially during orgasm."
"The perception of an all-body orgasm is much more complete, and subtle. The whole process is not that of a short explosion, but of a slow, intense implosion. After that, I do not feel empty, because this feeling usually appears after an explosion. In the case of an implosion, that certain something is still inside of you. There is a profound sense of satisfaction, on several levels: physical, emotional, and spiritual, and this satisfaction will go on for hours, sometimes even days."
In the West, we have learned that orgasm equals ejaculation. However, Tantrics and Taoists have understood that orgasm is made of a pulsation and a contraction, and therefore, it may be perceived everywhere in our body.
DISCREET AND CONTINUOUS ORGASMS
It is important to underline the fact that all-body orgasms are so intense that at times it is difficult to say when one ends and the other one starts.
The waves of pleasure make any attempt to "count" totally useless. Tantrics have proved that both men and women are capable of experiencing discreet (separate) orgasms, and continuous orgasms, without the discharge of the potential sexual energy.
The multiple discreet orgasms imply an orgasmic peak, followed by a slight decrease in the intensity of the feeling, immediately followed by another discreet orgasm.
The continuous multiple orgasms imply that you reach an orgasmic peak, which may grow in intensity or not, but you will still perceive the orgasmic state all the time, disregarding the fluctuations of its intensity.
Furthermore, these discreet and continuous orgasms may combine, offering you innumerable combinations of orgasmic peaks. The possibilities are infinite. The states we are discussing here are a world apart far from the six-seconds orgasm most men are accustomed to.
SEXUALITY AND SPIRITUALITY
You may even reach the stage when you perceive the energy flowing through your lover's body, and her sexual energy flowing through your body. Finally, you may also perceive that the things that delimit you as "you" and her as "her" disappear.
Some men experience a feeling of union with their lover, others with the whole universe. Through the practice of sexual continence, you will learn how to live this spiritual experience over and over again.
Furthermore, this type of spiritual communion with your lover or with the universe may determine a transformation on the level of your consciousness. Therefore, in the Orient, sexuality was considered as part of a spiritual path, not opposed to it.
In order to control your sexual energy and to practice sexual continence, you have to breathe as deeply and as relaxed as you can. All martial arts and yoga lessons indicate that breath is the key needed to control the body.
Breathing is generally an involuntary act, but it may just as well become a conscious act. In other words, we usually breathe without thinking about it, and also without changing the natural rhythm of our breath. If we did that, if we made our breath more profound, we could influence the cardiac rhythm.
For instance, after we run, we breathe rapidly and superficially, and consequently our cardiac rhythm reaches high levels. If we breathe slowly, the cardiac rhythm decreases.
To the extent to which lovemaking is concerned, a high rate of the cardiac rhythm usually indicates that you approach ejaculation. The conclusion comes naturally: the first step in controlling your ejaculation is controlling your breath.
Most of us breathe superficially, usually at the level of the thorax and clavicles (clavicular breathing), a fact which leads to a poor oxygenation of the lungs.
For instance, newborn babies breathe abdominally. If you watch a baby sleeping, you will notice that his belly moves with each breath he takes. Abdominal breathing fills our lungs with air, and allows us to replace the residual air, stagnating inside our lungs, with fresh air.
This is the healthiest way of breathing, but most of us lost this ability because of stress and anxiety. Our way of breathing is limited to the upper part of the chest, and therefore we are said to breathe only at the level of the thorax and clavicles.
When we are happy and we laugh, we breathe abdominally. The following exercise will show you how to breathe abdominally, as you did when you were quite young.
When you practice the techniques suggested here, it is required that you breathe in through your nose, as the air is filtered and warmed up at the passage through the nose. Remember that whenever you breathe in through your mouth, you inhale unfiltered and cold air.
1. Sit on a chair, spine straight, feet on the floor, and head up.
2. Place your hands on your navel and relax your shoulders.
3. Inhale through the nose and feel how the lower part of the abdomen becomes distended with air, so that the navel is pushed forth. The diaphragm goes down.
4. Relax the chest while exhaling forcefully through the mouth, so that the lower part of your abdomen is pulled back, as if you wanted to push the navel towards the spine. You will also feel how your penis and testicles are somewhat drawn upwards.
5. Repeat steps 3 and 4, 21 times.
A few minutes of daily abdominal breathing will teach your body to breathe deeply again, in a natural manner, even when you sleep. While making love, this capacity is essential in order to prevent ejaculation and to expand the erotic sensations throughout your whole body.
Once you no longer ejaculate, it is important that you carry on with your breathing exercises, as they will help you make the sexual energy circulate through your body and sublimate it into volitional, affectionate, mental and spiritual energy.
The abdominal breathing massages the internal organs and the prostate, and it relieves the sensation of pressure most men experience for the first time when they do not ejaculate.
This sensation of pressure of tension in the genital area, which appears at all beginners in the practice of sexual continence, is caused by the stagnation of the sexual energy in the pelvic area. If the energy is not sublimated, it will lead to irritability, confusion, and edginess.
Therefore, we wish to make it clear that the mere transmutation of the sexual potential energy (the transformation of sperm into sexual energy, or in other words the retention of the sperm inside the body and its transformation into other substances) is not enough to experience multiple all-body orgasms.
This is the first step only. The next is the sublimation of this sexual energy, or in other words the actual flow of this energy through the subtle channel corresponding to the spine (you may even have unusual perceptions through the spine during this process) upwards.
Therefore, abdominal breathing is a highly important technique, because it sets in motion the sexual energy and it guides it "through" the spine, resulting in its sublimation from the genital area and in the suppression of the above-mentioned states of irritability, confusion, etc.
Another method to determine this flow of the sexual energy is the practice of Hatha Yoga postures, which also have the effect of eliminating the energetic "nodes" and facilitating the circulation of the energy through the whole body.
If you have had troubles with abdominal breathing (as most Westerners do) you may practice abdominal laughter as well.
What is abdominal laughter? It is the kind of laughter that makes your abdomen shake. It is genuine laughter shared with your close friends. It is the laughter that makes you say your stomach hurts from laughing. This pain is due to the fact that we do not use these muscles very often.
Sit comfortably on a chair, spine straight and feet on the floor. Place your hands on the abdomen, and remember all the funniest moments of your life. When laughter begins, let it grasp your entire being, until you feel your stomach vibrating.
This kind of laughter is extremely helpful, as it relaxes the diaphragm, makes you breathe abdominally, and generate a great quantity of energy, which you may use later on.