By Paula Suciu
A tantric relation between a man and a woman is a relation which enjoys an emotional and profoundly erotic intimacy and is based on sincere and open communication between the two lovers. If we want our relationship to blossom then we have to cultivate reciprocal trust and respect, spiritual opening, and a profound and delicious state of intimacy.
The central idea of tantric wisdom is accomplishing the unity and harmonic state, by establishing a stable state between the male and female polar forces, which rule all of Existence. According to Tantra, the perfect communion between these two harmonious complementary forces can give birth to the Infinite Happiness (Bliss).
All of us have our own strengths and weaknesses but the respect for the other determines a balance in the couple relationship, thus the eventual conflicts and power struggles and manipulation will not take place. The loving passion, even if disposed of sufficient vitality and energy, has a passing nature but holistic, intimate love is much more lasting and durable based on discovering, in our own inner being as well as in the our lover’s person, the essential divine nature.
For deepening the state of profound intimacy share your thoughts and feelings with your lover
The state of delicious intimacy in a couple becomes profound when we share our thoughts, experiences and intimate spiritual states. Our beings have to approach each other in an intimate and profound way, opening ourselves physically, affectively, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Sometimes this process can be difficult for us, because it is necessary for us to abandon our protective shields which we used to protect our soul’s wounds due to our past couple relationship experiences.
It is absolutely necessary to look inside our soul with sincerity to discover the cause of our pains to avoid projecting on our lover our problems and needs. Also, we have to manifest a state of tolerance and lot of flexibility to understand that the needs and way of thinking of our lover can be different from ours. For this it is necessary to have a lot of courage to be able to talk honestly and clearly about our feelings, wishes and aspirations concerning our couple relationship. For the love between us to remain alive and to grow in intensity and depth we have to always evoke the sublime moment of the beginning and to nurture our souls with magical and romantic moments.
The immediate solving of certain conflicts, which in time can lead to states of anger, resentments or tensions between us and our lover, can help us a lot in our couple relationship and will make our erotic life be rich in spontaneity, exuberance and delight. Tantric love is a transforming experience. We can not give ourselves totally to our lover if we continue to maintain in ourselves certain inhibitions or frustrations on an emotional level. It is necessary to give up prejudices to be able to empathize and to respond to our lover’s feelings.
For our couple relationship to maintain its freshness and harmony it is necessary to spend a period of time discussing delicate problems, aiming to understand the other one’s point of view as well, and thus the communication between us becoming more efficient and having a positive impact on us. When we decide to enter in such a discussion we keep in mind the following aspects: each of us will work at telling sincerely, coherently, in a stable tone, calmly what is pressing in his/her soul and the other will engage in listening with lot of attention and receptivity, without adopting a defensive attitude. Another very important aspect is that none of us will interrupt the other and when we speak, practice not to dominate the conversation by raising our voice. Also, we should not be afraid to show our vulnerability in front of the other, but to display trust that opening our souls to our relationship will only result in it winning.
The joy of sharing erotic experiences
Sexuality is an intrinsic and precious part of our human nature and deserves to be treated with great responsibility. In an intimate tantric relationship we ought have trust in each other and respect reciprocally our states, feelings, ideals and beliefs. We will keep in mind the erotic and loving readiness the other person has and we will never force them to make love to us when they do not want it. When adoration and reciprocal transfiguration exist, sexual limitations and prejudices disappear; loving intimacy develops as we open ourselves in front of the other, sharing our thoughts, feelings, fears, doubts, wishes and erotic fantasies.
When we discuss together about the eventual problems that occur in our relationship, we have to consider never to criticize the other person, sexually speaking, and not to use the shared secrets between us against the other one. We will work at showing our lover, playfully and spontaneously what we like and what we wish to experience mostly on an erotic level, using creative and original methods. For this we will chose a relaxing moment when we are rested and full of energy without being pressured by time or disturbed by something from our surroundings.
We will go into our bedroom with our lover and will start to caress each other, using different tactile means, such as tongue, lips, fingers and other parts of the body thus becoming familiar with our lover’s intimacies. We will then confess, tenderly and lovingly, how we would like to be touched and kissed, especially in our intimate areas. We will thus experience, in a plenary and trasfigurative way, erotic pleasure, enjoying all sexuality’s aspects, cherishing every discovery we make concerning our lover, being in the same time aware of our erotic oneness.