It is important and rewarding to have another person's love and attention, but at least equally important is to gain that caring and respect for yourself. We are encouraged to put our own well being in second place in order to consider others.
However, building up your own self-esteem will empower your life and enable you to become less dependent on another person for acknowledging your value.
This power will sustain you in time of loneliness, but equally important it will add new aspects to any relationship you already have.
The start is simple: a lifestyle that indicates concern for yourself: healthy diet, exercise, rest, and relaxation.
The extra energy that comes from all these actions will help you manage the daily life and the inherent stresses so that those tensions become power for positive actions rather than a negative force that blocks and withholds your energy.
Having the enthusiasm and confidence required for facing the daily issues, as well as a new and demanding relationship requires that you feel good about yourself. In most cases, this feeling good about yourself refers to take care of your real, deep needs and to fulfill them.
The process of self-appreciation begins with feeling good, both internally and externally. Your body will then be relaxed, full of energy and vitality, your complexion clear and glowing, your whole person radiating happiness and fulfillment - things that will only attract the others towards you.
Now: feeling good about your body is important as your contentment sense of humor and merriness depends on this. You could not possibly be merry and happy if you were constantly worrying about the way you look.
The concern for your physical body is also important because of its connection with the fact that a healthy body fights disease much better and effectively than a weakened organism.
Health is important, as ill or health is not only a state of the physical condition, but a state of the mind as well. Enthusiasm and self-confidence are much easily scattered when weakened by disease.
Sleep and rest are important issues in the process of gaining self-esteem. Neglecting your sleep, relaxation and rest can only have negative effects upon your building confidence, as your body is unable to replenish its resources.
A person lacking resources is very unlikely to have the mental harmony and inner balance required to face in a dignified manner the every-day challenges, both in the social life and in one's intimate, love life.
DIET AND NUTRITION
The most direct effect on your health, and the most visible one are through the diet.
This is also the aspect that we most often neglect. Nonetheless, we all know (or at least should) that a healthy body starts with a healthy diet.
The ancient saying "we are what we eat" is still valid these days, and will endure as long as there is life, as the molecules in the food we ingest constantly replace the cells in our body.
Food supplies the amino acids, essential fat acids, and many other substances that ensure the normal functioning of our basic bodily processes.
These substances also provide us the vital energy we need to go through the day and feel sensual and confident.
Your day should have marks such as the time you eat. Take the time to enjoy the flavor of your food instead to take a quick bite and then hurry towards a stressing activity.
The relaxation and energy you can get through enjoying your meal can help you deal better with those stressing situations. Sit down and eat, making these moments a time for mental relaxation and physical renewal.
In our contemporary society it is quite tempting and an easy-looking solution to eat high-fat fast foods and sugar-snacks instead of having a healthy, balanced diet, rich in all the vitamins and minerals your organism needs to work at its best.
Too much of the inappropriate kinds of foods will have long-time disastrous effects: digestive disorders, heart disease, cancer, obesity and tooth decay.
Highly processed foods invariably contain lots of excess animal fats, and refined sugars, while the fibre and the essential vitamins and minerals are lost. They will only hang around your waist, with exactly zero benefit.
Normally, you should eat more bread and potatoes and less refined sugar. The carbohydrates present in the bread and potatoes provide energy at a steady level, while simple sugars give you a quick energy lift that ultimately leaves you irritable and edgy.
Also cut down the saturated fat (found in meat and dairy products) as it increases blood pressure levels. Your ideal daily diet should include:
Eight glasses of pure water, as it keeps the kidneys function properly, and washes the toxins that can build up to impressive levels in your body. Reduce the stimulates (such as coffee, alcohol and artificial tea) as they can disrupt the organism's fluid balance and can lead to an over-stimulation of the central nervous system, insomnia, high blood pressure, stress disorders.
Consume abundantly fresh fruits and vegetables, as they provide the fibre, vitamins and minerals you need.
Eat plenty of bread (especially whole-wheat), pasta, rice, cereals, potatoes, as they provide you the complex carbohydrates.
Eat low-fat diary products, as they have the calcium and vitamins minus the saturated fats that are so dangerous for your health.
Also, eat daily protein foods such as eggs, nuts, seeds, beans, peas and lentils.
Moreover, a vegetarian diet can be healthy and sustaining, providing that it contains the right balance of amino acids.
Caring for your body is important for building up self-esteem and self-confidence.
Try to be interested in your physical shape without becoming obsessed with it, as a good session of the sport you like usually enhances your mental and physical well being, due to the greater quantity of oxygen that gets into your body.
When physically unfit, you usually tend to feel more lethargic and to lack interest in the world and the people around you. If single, you will most likely be less interested in looking for a lover.
Low self-esteem will certainly be transmitted to others and this will have echoes in the way they consider you.
Similarly, if you are involved, you may lack the enthusiasm, vitality and self-confidence required for the commitment of a relationship.
Moreover, lovemaking is a physical activity and requires a minimum of physical fitness. Consequently, the fitter you are, the greater your appetite for lovemaking, and the greater your enjoyment of it.
Physical exercises have direct, noticeable effects on the lungs, heart, circulatory system; lowers cholesterol levels and helps lose fat.
INCREASING VITAL ENERGY
The ancient oriental sages have transmitted to us certain exercises and different techniques that release the muscular tensions within our body, tensions that we may even be unaware of.
Tensions that reside within our body for a long time will cause emotional blocks and repressed feelings, inhibiting the natural flow of energy, including sexual energy.
These blocks ultimately prevent the oxygen to reach the cells, as your capacity to breathe correctly and deeply reduces under pressure. Breath awareness and certain Hatha Yoga exercises can help relax and expand tense areas of the body.
The chronic tension built up in the body is known as "muscular armor". This armor needs to be released if the individual is to gain emotional freedom, vitality and mental tranquility.
We have here a set of asanas that will help you get rid of the tension and regain your vital balance, quite needed for any activity:
Padahastasana - 3-7 minutes
Bhadrasana - 3-5 minutes
Pashchimottanasana - 3-5 minutes
Virasana - 5 minutes on each side
Ardha Chandrasana - 3 minutes Chakrasana - 3 minutes
Sukhasana - 7 minutes for each side
Yoniasana - 3 minutes, Sarvangasana 3 minutes
Halasana - 5 minutes
At the end of the session, perform the complete yogic relaxation, as presented in the Yoga section of our site.
A regular self-massage program is responsible for your looking so good and relaxed. Self-massage is good as it stimulates the circulation, and makes you more sensually responsive. It usually improves the self-image and leads to a better knowledge of yourself and your own energies.
Start as usually, with the upper part of your body. Massage your head with circular movements, pressing as hard as you find it effective and comfortable.
Massage the temples, the face, following with some strokes meant to invigorate your muscles. Tap over your facial muscles, going down to the shoulders and neck. Gently stroke your muscles of the arms and even the ribcage.
Finally, use long, vigorous strokes of the side of your hands to finish the massage of your feet and legs. This massage tones the muscles and boosts the circulation, but above all has an unprecedented advantage: you know best what kind of strokes and pressure you need.
Another method for getting an invigorating massage is to use a regular skin brush. Use it dry and stroke your skin in the rhythm, pressure and pace you feel comfortable with.
Its advantage is that it removes the dead cells and allows the young cells to come out. It also enhances the body's capacity to eliminate toxins, due to the improvement of the blood circulation.
This time start at your feet, and work your way up the legs, arms, buttocks, back, and front, following the direction of the blood circulation.
Shower every time after you brush your skin, to wash any dead cells. You can do this even several times a week, to leave your skin glowing with health and silky.
Your outward appearance is not a negligible aspect. It is highly important in enhancing your self-esteem, whether you are a man or a woman.
The clean skin and youthful appearance do not necessarily involve impressive bills in specialized places; instead a simple daily regime is sufficient.
Most importantly is to protect your skin from the harmful effects of sun and wind, preventing the pores to block and remove the dirt, dead cells and excess fat. If you are a woman, avoid wearing excess make-up and by all means cleanse your skin before going to bed.
You can get into a sensual mood even after a hard day of work if you get in touch with your body. You can perform a slight massage with creams and lotions meant to moist and revitalize your skin.
Exploring your body, even as superficially as it may seem with a good quality moisturizing cream or lotion may improve your image about yourself, in spite of the advertisers proclaiming an unreal perfection.
Start with the top part of your body, i. e. your face. Spread the face cream from the nose to the laterals and the forehead, insisting on your temples.
Slide along the sides of the nose, on the cheekbones, then on the chin, jaws and up to the ears. Finish by rubbing the cream into your neck, using an upward motion, as always on the face and neck.
Now use light touches to spread the cream or lotion over your body. Cream your chest, breasts, shoulders, down your arms.
Continue with your breastbone, belly, down your legs and feet. Here you may insist and use more firm strokes, in order to get the muscular knots and tensions out.
Alternatively you may use a rich massage oil, olive oil or coconut oil. If you are a man, pay closer attention to the muscles around the shoulders and arms, as well as the legs.
You may further enhance your relaxation by adding your favorite aromatherapy oil into the massage lotion, cream or oil, or you may also use the specific effects of the oils you have in order to get into a mood you desire: active, energetic, or sensual, relaxing.
Jasmine is a safe, attractive, sensual oil meant for relaxation and harmony, it can also ease stiff, aching muscles.
Through these caresses you will get to know your body and love it for the good friend that it is.